Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I checked into jail on foursquare
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
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