wake up i wanna do it froggy style
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
