my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
