Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
