Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Randomize