No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
