If that was your dad, he is hot
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
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