i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
