After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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