I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
That was before I lit my hair on fire
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
