at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Randomize
