porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
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