I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
