And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
