Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
