I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Randomize
