I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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