Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
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