i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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