If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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