Texts From Last Night

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  (518): View more from New York

  You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window

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  (518): You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window http://tfl.nu/qxzy
  Replies (14) Good night (3327) Bad night (560)
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  (216): View more from Ohio

  As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.

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  (216): As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks. http://tfl.nu/d4mm
  Replies (14) Good night (1153) Bad night (4315)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure

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  (214): Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure http://tfl.nu/kj79
  Replies (7) Good night (3404) Bad night (1030)
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  (801): View more from Utah

  So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away

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  (801): So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away http://tfl.nu/h2fc
  Replies (11) Good night (5316) Bad night (1082)
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster

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  (419): You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster http://tfl.nu/810i
  Replies (9) Good night (2686) Bad night (1083)
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  (226): View more from Ontario

  I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.

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  (226): I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience. http://tfl.nu/aa3x
  Replies (1) Good night (1753) Bad night (1121)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.

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  (304): they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise. http://tfl.nu/xovb
  Replies (7) Good night (1384) Bad night (871)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here

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  (519): i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here http://tfl.nu/yje7
  Replies (7) Good night (2576) Bad night (922)
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.

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  (734): you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you. http://tfl.nu/57kx
  Replies (7) Good night (1992) Bad night (1072)
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  (256): View more from Alabama

  She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.

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  (256): She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks. http://tfl.nu/9wib
  Replies (5) Good night (2080) Bad night (523)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.

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  (814): For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives. http://tfl.nu/zjhm
  Replies (1) Good night (1249) Bad night (255)
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  (574): View more from Indiana

  LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN

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  (574): LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN http://tfl.nu/j386
  Replies (1) Good night (521) Bad night (230)
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  (602): View more from Arizona

  Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.

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  (602): Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy. http://tfl.nu/ej69
  Replies (1) Good night (507) Bad night (380)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean

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  (401): So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean http://tfl.nu/7uwn
  Replies (2) Good night (402) Bad night (172)
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  (775): View more from Nevada

  He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.

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  (775): He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it. http://tfl.nu/09j3
  Replies (8) Good night (271) Bad night (170)

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