is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Randomize
