i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
23 Fathers Confess The Best Way They’ve Messed With Their Daughter’s Boyfriend
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
25 Children of Helicopter Parents Admit The Most Horrible Thing They Were Put Through
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.