Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
23 People Noticed Deal Breakers in Their Partner A Little Too Late
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Randomize
