You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
These 19 Teachers Had Very Inappropriate Interactions With Students
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I just found a bag of teeth...
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Women Confess 25 Instant Deal-Breakers On A Man’s Dating Profile
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.