I don't usually arrange sex via text message
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
I want a musical about memes.
Randomize
