do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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