If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
