walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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