Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
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