some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
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