I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
You were trust falling into bushes
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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