he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
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