I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
