i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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