I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
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