is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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