i just google imaged poop.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
She told me I should be a condom model.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Randomize
