yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
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