i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
We smell like vodka and hangover
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
