I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
