Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
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