i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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