She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
