Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
