dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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