So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
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You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
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Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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