1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
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We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
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Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
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