How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
