As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
