oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
