Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
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