I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Randomize
