I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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