Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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