Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Mom said you looked used
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
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