He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
So apparently I’m into choking now
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
