You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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