she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Randomize
