Whats the glycemic index on semen?
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
