Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
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He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
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I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize