How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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