Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
I wish i was in the wii world.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
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