She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
